From BobHL,
You asked send in anything interesting, you got it, featuring your favourite person,
Bush Jokes:
What is Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade???
He really doesn't care how people got out of New Orleans.
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
--------------------------- TRAGEDY A teacher asked the visiting President if he would like to lead a discussion about the word 'tragedy'. So, the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'. One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Bush, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the President, "that's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room Freddie raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If an aircraft carrying you, Mr. President, was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says Fred, "it would have to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
------------------------------- News story:Teacher Arrested At New York's Kennedy airport today An individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes
------------------------------ President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White House carrying a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir." The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice-President Cheney, and I got one for Defence Secretary Rumsfeld." The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Nice trade, sir."
------------------------------ After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a message in his own handwriting to let him know that he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so he typed it out and e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it, so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret Service. Eventually they asked Britain's MI6 for help. They cabled the White House: "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."