Complete Convention Coverage

Read all about my trip to NYC for The Republican Convention, including the epic story

H.L.Does Time

October 6, 2004

The Devil, and John Edwards

By the Hollywood Liberal

Did you see Cheney on the TV last night? The guy looks like a cross between, the ultimate corrupt evil businessman, The Count from Sesame Street, and Satan. Sitting there in his black suit with that big puffy powder white head, was truly a scary sight. If he had dyed his hair black (if he had any hair that is) and combed it straight back, with a little gel to hold it in place, I would have thought to myself "Oh my god its The living embodiment of The Vampire come to life. How is he able to not melt under those bright 3200 degree Kelvin Television Lights? He's even more powerful then Dracula. Of course the debate is over now. Daylight has crept across the country, and The Dick has crawled back into his tomb. Did you see him last night? After a while of watching him even though I was trying to concentrate, all I heard was Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. When someone lies so often, and drones on and on, after a while you just tune them out. You pretend your listening, but really your thinking to yourself "Did I remember to put the rest of my Beer back in the refrigerator, because I'm going to need more if this guy doesn't shut up soon. John Edwards on the other hand, was the kind of guy you want to listen to. He's sincere, he's articulate, he's intelligent. He acts like he really cares about the American People. When he gave his closing statement last night I felt that the guy was being honest, and that he really cares. He's also a hell of a counter puncher. I tuned in about 20 minutes late. But what I saw was Cheney trying to hit Edwards with attacks to his character, and integrity. Every time Cheney hit Edwards, it was like a light slap that barely connects, but every time he hit, Edwards hit back with a haymaker. Cheney tried this tactic several times, slapping at Edwards only to be hit back by a big right hook, or left uppercut. After a while it seemed like Cheney realized he was getting bloodied, so he stopped trying to slap at Edwards, and defend his policies. A little while later Cheney must have forgotten the lesson he learned because he tried to slap at Edwards again about his voting record in the Senate. This time Edwards landed a heavy blow by saying "Oh you want to talk about voting records" He then pointed out that while Dick was in the House of Representatives, that out of 435 members he was with a minority of between 4 to 10 members that voted against head start, health care for the elderly, getting Nelson Mandela out of jail, and Having a federal holiday for Martin Luther King Day. Exposing Cheney as the kind of If it doesn't put even more money in my pocket then Fuck off and die. It showed him to be the uncaring sub human that we all know he is. To me at that moment John Edwards began to attract notice as a man to be reckoned with. Cheney came across a guy who should just head back to Wyoming, (or is it Texas) to live out the rest of his days tending to the cattle, or whatever the hell it is they do back there. By the way, if you didn't know that Cheney has a gay daughter, you do now. Edwards pointed it out for all those who do not read the papers, or know what is really going on here. A lot of women probably thought. If I had a father like that I would have turned out gay too, Being raised by such a monster would surely turn off any girl to men forever, and want them to go for something as completley opposite as possible. Dick's daughter hasn't totally abandoned ship however, probably because she knows that it won't be long before the Billions that Dick has stolen from the American people will soon be heading her way. Lets hope she used that money for good, not for evil like her dad was doing when he stole it. Overall Dick didn't do as badly as his "boss", but then again a talking parrot could have done better then Bush. I would give Edwards a majority decision on this one. He did nothing to bring the party down, and probably helped bring it up a little more. The problem I had with Edwards though was that like Kerry he did not attack enough. When Edwards talked about Halliburton he had Cheney on the ropes, then he dropped the subject. Edwards never mentioned how many people have died for the lie, and he never talked about oil prices, or any of a host of other things that could have mad the Dicks, pasty white face turn a fine shade of crimson. Its like they are afraid that people will be turned off if they really go for the knockout. So we get this pseudo fight, they need to take off the gloves, and go for some bare knuckle fighting, like they used to do in the old days. Now we have Kerry-Bush 2 to look forward too. Kerry needs to go in there and kick ass on Bush even more in the next two because so far the monkey population of America still has not gotten the message. Bush still leads on the State by State Electoral Poll Map. Hopefully the ice is starting to crack.

And now here is a letter written by a soldier in Iraq, to Michael Moore

The Guardian

Dear Mike, Iraq Sucks

Heres another one from The Guardian. Its an old one but in case you didn't know wrap your mind around this

How Bush's grandfather helped Hitler's rise to power

OK gotta go get ready for work, look for part 2 later tonight. Thanks for tuning in

H.L.

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